You Think You Are in Control? Think Again!

YOU THINK YOU’RE IN CONTROL? Think again. Your mind is wired with glitches—hidden psychological traps that dictate your thoughts, actions, and even your failures. The worst part? You don’t even notice it happening. Here are the most brutal psychology facts about human behavior:

1. The Illusion of Transparency – You think people can see right through you? Wrong. That anxiety, that guilt, that insecurity—you feel like it’s written all over your face, but nobody notices. You’re stressing over nothing.

2. The Spotlight Effect – You trip, you stutter, you embarrass yourself—and you think everyone’s watching. They’re not. Most people are too busy worrying about their own flaws to care about yours.

3. The Zeigarnik Effect – Your brain clings to unfinished tasks like an obsessive ex. That’s why that one thing you forgot to do keeps nagging at you. Unfinished business haunts you.

4. The Mere Exposure Effect – The more you see something, the more you like it. That’s why brands shove ads in your face 24/7. Your brain confuses familiarity with value.

5. The Dunning-Kruger Effect – The dumbest people always think they’re the smartest in the room. Meanwhile, the real experts doubt themselves because they actually understand how complex things are.

6. The Ben Franklin Effect – Want someone to like you? Make them do you a favor. The brain tricks itself into believing, “If I helped this person, I must like them.” Reverse manipulation at its finest.

7. The Optimism Bias – You secretly think you’re untouchable. Bad things happen to other people, right? Wrong. The universe doesn’t owe you safety. Stay sharp.

8. The Sunk Cost Fallacy – You waste time, money, and energy on things that aren’t working because you’ve already invested too much. Jobs, relationships, bad habits—you refuse to quit, even when you should.

9. The Pratfall Effect – Perfection is intimidating. But when a competent person makes a small mistake? They become more relatable, more likable. That’s why confidence + a little clumsiness is the ultimate cheat code.

10. Temporal Discounting – You’d rather take $50 now than $100 later. Your brain sabotages your future self because it craves instant gratification. That’s why most people never get rich, fit, or successful. Discipline is rare.

Your brain is a battleground. If you don’t take control, you’ll be another puppet to these hidden forces. Wake up. Stay aware. Master your mind before it masters you.

Meanwhile, Have you Heard of Ball's Pyramid Island?

Ball's Pyramid is a towering, rocky island located in the Pacific Ocean, about 643 kilometers (400 miles) from mainland Australia and 23 kilometers (14 miles) southeast of Lord Howe Island. It is the world’s tallest volcanic stack, rising 562 meters (1,844 feet) above sea level.

The island was first discovered in 1788 and has remained uninhabited due to its steep, nearly vertical cliffs and lack of flat land. Despite its isolation, Ball's Pyramid is home to a rare species of insect, the Lord Howe Island stick insect, which was thought to be extinct until it was rediscovered on the island in 2001.

Due to its remote and rugged nature, access to Ball’s Pyramid is highly restricted. Climbing and scientific expeditions have been permitted in limited numbers, but strong winds, rough seas, and the island’s sheer rock faces make it extremely difficult to land.

Lastly, here's my reading of the week- About Home is not a Place, but in the Heart

Some places don’t just hold memories; they hold a piece of your soul, heart and mind.

Every corner whispers stories of childhood laughter, quiet afternoons, and the scent of home-cooked meals drifting through open windows. The familiar creak of the wooden floor, the gentle rustling of leaves outside, and the golden light spilling through old curtains—these are the little things that make a house a home. 

Time may pass, but the feeling never fades; it lingers in the air, in the walls, and in the warmth of the people who call it home. No matter how far you wander, a part of you always stays behind, woven into the very fabric of this place. And when you return, it’s as if nothing has changed—only your footsteps have grown a little wiser. Because home isn’t just where you live; it’s where your heart remembers to breathe.

Travel with Me to Machu Picchu, Peru via Dodie's Photos

Dodie ( my oldest son)💚 and spouse Ruth Carver enjoying the sites and sounds of Machu Picchu just recently. 

Machu Picchu is a 15th-century Inca citadel located in the Eastern Cordillera of southern  Peru on a mountain ridge at 2,430 meters (7,970 ft). Often referred to as the "Lost City of the Incas", it is the most familiar icon of the Inca Empire. It is located in the Machupicchu District within the Urubamba Province above the Sacred Valley, which is 80 kilometers (50 mi) northwest of the city of Cusco. The Urubamba River flows past it, cutting through the Cordillera and creating a canyon with a subtropical mountain climate.

Machu Picchu was declared a Peruvian Historic Sanctuary in 1982 and a UNESCO World Heritage Site in 1983. In 2007, Machu Picchu was voted one of the New Seven Wonders of the World in a worldwide internet poll. Here are some of Dodie's photos:

Here's what Dodie wrote on his FB Page: Can’t believe we really made it to Machu Picchu. It was an adventure just getting here. We flew to Cusco. Bussed to Urubamba where we stayed 2 nights to acclimate to the altitude. Then bus to Ollantaytambo where we caught an 1 ½ hour train ride to Aguas Calientes. We stayed at a nice hotel there. Then a shuttle bus up the windy road to Machu picchu. We had two visits. The first on a rainy afternoon and then the next morning when it was sunny and beautiful weather. All this was through OAT. Afterwards we drove back to Cusco. The 11000 feet elevation took a toll on me and I had to rest, so I didn’t see much of Cusco.

For complete Details visit: 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Machu_Picchu

Meanwhile, enjoy this photo of popular and colorful indoor Plants.

Lastly, enjoy this photo of A Man and his Cat... 

💚https://www.amazon.com/Cloyne-Court-Dodie-Katague/dp/0981955339

The Benefits of My Weekly Whole Body Massage

If you read my blogs, you probably know that I have once a week a whole body massage for the last 6 months here at THD ( home visit). My massage therapist ( home visit) is Indy ( Darryl Choi), Walnut Creek- 925-487 6096.

Here's what I wrote previously on the benefits of massage( muscles stretching) that Indy provides.  

https://chateaudumer.blogspot.com/2024/04/thai-massage-versus-traditional-swedish.html

Here's is my latest reading why Muscle Stretching reduces stress, anxiety, depression and fatigue. 

 

Your body holds wisdom beyond the conscious mind—stored emotions, past experiences, and even stress accumulate in your muscles and joints. This simple stretch doesn’t just loosen your hips, hamstrings, and spine—it also helps release tension trapped in your nervous system. 

Ancient yogis believed that flexibility in the body leads to flexibility in the mind, allowing energy (prana) to flow freely. Science confirms this by showing how movement reduces anxiety, boosts mood, and rebalances the nervous system. Every time you stretch, you are realigning your body, mind, and spirit—bridging the gap between physical and energetic health. Take a deep breath, fold forward, and feel the release. What part of your body do you feel holds the most tension?

Meanwhile, here's one photo memory of Chateau Du Mer. This is the newly painted Front Gate of the Main House-Chateau Du Mer -our second Home in Boac, Marinduque, Philippines

Lastly, here are the 30 life Lessons to teach your Children and Grand Children

 

Nineteen Types of Ballroom Dancing

In My younger years, Ball Room Dancing is one of my Favorite activity along with my wife of 63 years. During one our vacation in Miami Beach, Florida, we won 1st Place Dancing the Cha Cha and 2nd place Dancing the Rumba.

Macrine (RIP) and I Dancing the Rumba, Boac, Marinduque, Philippines, 2013

Here's an article on the 19 types of ball room dancing. I know how to dance almost all of the styles in my younger days. However, my favorites are the tango, rumba and the Cha Cha. 

💚💚From My Readings on the Subject : "Isn't it amazing how ballroom dance offers such a diverse range of styles? Whether you're a seasoned pro or just starting out, you might be curious about the different types of ballroom dance out there. Well, we've got you covered! In this post, we've compiled a list of the 19 different types of ballroom dance and explained what makes each one unique. Use the table of contents below to jump to a specific dance." 💚 💚https://blog.dancevision.com/the-19-different-types-of-ballroom-dance)_

Marsha Kefer and I Dancing the Cha Cha, The Heritage Downtown, Walnut Creek, 2024

Macrine and I dancing the Tango, Marinduque, Philippines 2014  

Table of Contents

1. Cha Cha (Latin)
2. Samba (Latin)
3. Rumba (Latin)
4. Paso Doble (Latin)
5. Jive (Latin)
6. Waltz (Ballroom)
7. Tango (Ballroom)
8. Viennese Waltz (Ballroom)
9. Foxtrot (Ballroom)
10. Quickstep (Ballroom)
11. Cha Cha (Rhythm)
12. Rumba (Rhythm)
13. East Coast Swing (Rhythm)
14. Bolero (Rhythm)
15. Mambo (Rhythm)
16. Waltz (Smooth)
17. Tango (Smooth)
18. Foxtrot (Smooth)
19. Viennese Waltz (Smooth)

My Favorites are 1, 6, 12 and 19. What are Yours?  Here are the Benefits of Dancing: https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/healthyliving/dance-health-benefits

Meanwhile, Did You Know?

The Philippines isn’t just about white-sand beaches—it also has beautiful black sand beaches! These can be found in places like Camiguin and Batangas, where volcanic activity shaped the land. The black sand comes from volcanic minerals and lava, making these beaches both unique and stunning.

Black sand beaches are not just pretty—they’re also believed to have healing properties because of their rich mineral content. They’re a must-see for anyone who loves nature’s hidden wonders!

Lastly, Did you know that the term "Islas de los Pintados" was given by Spanish colonizers in the early 16th century? This name, which means "Islands of the Painted Ones," referred to the tattooed people, particularly from the Visayas region.

The Spanish were fascinated by the extensive tattooing practices of the Visayan warriors and settlers, who adorned their bodies with intricate designs. This name, however, was not an indigenous or widely adopted name among the Filipinos themselves. It reflected the perspective of the Spanish colonizers rather than the local inhabitants.

Home is Not a Place But in the Heart

Here's a repost of my previous posting that received a few comments on my FaceBook Page. I am reposting it,  inspired by our recent meal time conversations here at THD about the definition of what is HOME.  

Home is Not a Place, But in the Heart-Chateau Du Mer Video

 

Our Second Home in the Philippines-Chateau Du Mer- Boac, Marinduque

The homily in last Sunday's TV Mass( Heart of the Nation.org) was about Home, Love and Fear. The priest said that the opposite of love is not hate, but fear. The sermon reminded me of my favorite quote : Home is not a Place, but in the Heart. 

In this article, I like to list some of my favorite quotes about HOME.  https://www.shutterfly.com/ideas/quotes-about-home/

• “Home is where our story begins…”
• “Home is the starting place of love, hope and dreams.”
• “The magic thing about home is that it feels good to leave, and it feels even better to come back.”
• “Home is where love resides, memories are created, friends always belong, and laughter never ends.”
• “A house is made of bricks and beams. A home is made of hopes and dreams.”
• “Home is not a place…it’s a feeling.”
• “With you, I am home.”
• “What I love most about my home is who I share it with.”
• “There is nothing more important than a good, safe, secure home.”
• “Home is a place you grow up wanting to leave, and grow old wanting to get back to.”
• “There’s no place like home.”
• “Where we love is home- home that our feet may leave, but not our hearts.”
• “In this home… We do second chances. We do real. We do mistakes. We do I’m sorrys. We do loud really well. We do hugs. We do together best of all.”
• “May your home always be too small to hold all of your friends.”
• “The ache for home lives in all of us, the safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned.”
• “You will never be completely at home again, because part of your heart will always be elsewhere. That is the price you pay for the richness of loving and knowing people in more than one place.”
• “Bless out house as we come and go. Bless our home as the children grow. Bless our families as they gather in. Bless our home with love and friends.”
• “Home is a shelter from storms-all sorts of storms.”-William J. Bennett
• “Home is where one starts from.” –T.S. Eliot
•  
• Speaking of Home as a Place, here's an old article about the places where had a Home during our Residence here in the US.
•  https://livinginmarinduquephilippines.blogspot.com/2019/07/our-twelve-moves-in-forty-two-years-in.html
• 
  

Meanwhile, here are the three red roses compliments of THD during our special Valentine Dinner, Feb 14, 2025 

• 

Finally here are the two photos taken by Samanta Gaytan Garcia during our Valentine Dinner

My Doordash Dinner was from Isla Grand Restaurant- a new Filipino restaurant in Pleasant Hill. I had milk fish ( deboned bangs) calderetta! Yummy Indeed!

https://www.panlasangpinoymeatrecipes.com/kalderetang-bangus-milkfish-caldereta.htm

Nine English Words That Sounds Similar But Different Meanings

From My Readings This Week

I was reading my FaceBook page today and came to this article. I found it interesting, so I am sharing it with you. 

Amused / Bemused

These two words sound similar despite their different spellings, so they’re easy to mix up. “Amused” means “finding something funny or entertaining.” (“The cartoon amused the kids.”) However, “bemused” is about being puzzled or confused. (“He was bemused by the directions.”) The “be” can help you remember that “bemused” is about your own state of mind, rather than finding something else entertaining.

Disperse / Disburse

These two words have similar meanings, but only one applies to discussing money. “Disperse” means “to distribute and spread out over a wide area.” (“The villagers dispersed at the first sign of trouble.”) “Disburse” also refers to distributing, but it only applies to dollars and cents. When you disburse, you pay money out of a fund. (“They disbursed funds to the charity organizations.”) To remember this one, think of going to the bursar’s office to pay tuition bills. 

Flaunt / Flout

When you flaunt something, you display it ostentatiously to show off. (“He flaunted his new set of golf clubs.”) “Flout” means “to disregard a rule or law.” (“She flouted her curfew by staying up late.”) If you’re bold, you can flaunt your new designer dress while flouting laws against jaywalking. The memory aid here isn’t quite as obvious, but it might be helpful to think that the “out” in “flout” means that you’ll be “out of bounds” if you disregard a rule.

Hearty / Hardy

“Hearty” means “expressed warmly” (“I send you hearty congratulations!”) or “wholesome and substantial food” (the hearty breakfast of the introduction). “Hardy” means “robust and capable of enduring difficult conditions.” (“The hardy plant survived the winter.”) Think of “hearty” as related to the heart — heartfelt sentiments or foods that warm the chest and belly — and “hardy” with the word “hard” — things that are tough and can survive.

Imply / Infer

Both of these words involve communication, but there are subtle differences in usage. “Imply” means “to strongly suggest the truth.” (“She implied we were in danger.”) “Infer” means “to deduce or conclude from evidence rather than explicit statements.” (“After reading the report, he inferred taxes would be increasing.”) The “in” of “infer” helps us remember that it’s an internal form of reasoning to reach a conclusion. 

Moral / Morale

Something that’s moral is all about right and wrong. (“He took a moral stance on the issue.”) “Morale” has a very similar spelling but refers to the confidence and enthusiasm of a group. (“The team’s morale was high before the big game.”) Remember, morale (with an “e”) is all about building up enthusiasm in a group.

Pedal / Peddle / Petal

Given their similar spellings, it’s easy to confuse these words when writing, but they have very different meanings. A pedal is a foot-operated lever used for powering a bicycle. (“He pedaled the bike down the street.”) “Peddle” means “to sell goods from place to place.” (“She was peddling Girl Scout Cookies door-to-door.”) “Petals” are the colorful outside leaves of a flower. Someone can peddle their petals while pedaling on their bike. 

Premier / Premiere

Both of these words come from a French word meaning “first in rank or importance,” but they are different parts of speech, which give them different meanings. “Premier” (an adjective) means “first in importance.” (“We visited the country’s premier museum.”) “Premiere” (a noun) is still about being first, but it only refers to entertainment. A premiere is the first showing of a play, film, or other work of art. (“They attended the premiere of the new Marvel movie.”)

Rein / Reign

Here’s another pair of homophones — words pronounced similarly but with different meanings. A rein is a long, narrow strap that guides a horse while riding. (“I took control of the horse’s reins.”) However, “reign” describes the time someone holds royal office. (“It was during the reign of Queen Elizabeth II.”) The added “g” makes the word fancy, just like a king or queen.

https://www.wordgenius.com/9-common-word-choice-errors-to-avoid/ZECibCLW2AAHcZDF

Meanwhile, Did You Know That

In ancient Rome, fast food restaurants known as Thermopolia were popular places where people could quickly grab meals such as hot stews and bread. These establishments were strikingly similar to modern street food stalls, offering a variety of ready-to-eat foods to busy Romans on the go.

Thermopolia typically featured a stone counter with embedded jars (dolia) that kept the food warm, making it easy for customers to get a quick and convenient meal.

This concept of fast food highlights the ingenuity of the Romans and their ability to create efficient solutions for everyday needs.

Lastly, Thank You Joel Torres for the Lobster Bisque Soup left-over from our Valentine Dinner

Shout Out to Joel Torres, new THD Sous Chef for the delicious lobster bisque soup served at our recent Valentine Dinner. Yesterday ( Saturday) at Lunch, I asked if there is a left-over of the soup. Joel complied and I have it for lunch today. Thank You, Joel. May your stay here at THD be a long, happy and productive time/employment in your job as Sous Chef.

My left-over soup did not have any more lobster chunks compared to the one served at the Valentine Dinner, but it was still delicious. Meanwhile, here's a photo of my other favorite soup- spicy lentil soup with Italian Sausage I ordered from DoorDash last week,

Have a Great Sunday, Every One!