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Death, Family and Taxes

Four days prior to our departure to the Philippines, last January, my brother-in-law, my wife's younger brother died. We tried to change our ticket for an earlier departure. We found out we have to purchase a new ticket at a ridiculously high price. Since we are not rich, we decided not to attend my brother-in-law funeral services. One of my sister-in-law residing here in Northern California was able to fly to the Philippines representing all of us residing abroad for the burial ceremonies and wake.

When we arrived four days after the burial, one of my wife's nephew invited us for dinner at his house in Quezon City. Their residence was our first home, a wedding gift from both of our parents. When we immigrated to US, the house was sold to my brother-n-law who in turned gave it to his son. His son was the one who invited us for dinner (see photo above). Here's a caption of the photo above as published in his FaceBook page”.

" I believe tracing roots help the current generation in understanding themselves focus on strengths to better themselves. Family is the base of a person’s stability and values. If we could present the uprising generation the heritage we all strive for, we could pass on a proud legacy of continuance & betterment”.

I could not agree more. Perfectly stated indeed!

The above statement reminded me of a Filipino saying “ You have to know your past in order to see your future”

The death of my brother-in-law also reminded me, that there are only two things that you can not avoid: Death and Taxes. Regarding taxes, today I mailed my Federal and State Income Taxes. Luckily as a retiree and earning very little, I did not pay any taxes. But submitting my annual income tax returns, is a must.

So my dear readers, do you agree that in order to see your future you must look at your past. Your comments will be highly appreciated. Happy tax time to All!

Have You Heard of the Sisters of the Cenacle?

St Therese Couderc-Founder of the Sisters of the Cenacle

Last month my wife and I attended the Golden Jubilee of Sisters Guia, Emma and Joyce of the Order of the Cenacle.
Dave and Macrine with Sister Angie Villanueva on our way to the Golden Jubillee Mass and Renewal of Vows

Sister Guia Nieva Jambalos is my wife's younger sister. It was a very momentous and memorable event, reminding me of our own golden wedding anniversary celebration six years earlier. It was held at the Cenacle Convent in Loyola Heights, Quezon City, Philippines. The event included a mass, renewal of vows and followed by a sumptuous reception attended by more than 400 guests. My wife and I were so proud to witness Sister Guia's golden jubilee as a nun for the Cenacle Sisters.
A video at Sister's Guia Golden Jubilee
After the mass with Sister Emma Garcia on our way to the Lavish Reception

I am sure, that not too many of you reading this post know who are the Cenacle sisters, and their mission. The following information, I found in their website.

The Sisters of the Cenacle (full title: Congregation of Our Lady of the Retreat in the Cenacle) is a Roman Catholic Congregation founded in 1826 in the village of Lalouvesc (Ardèche), France. Their mission is threefold: prayer, community, and ministry. Their ministry is always focused on faith, whether it is retreats, spiritual direction, adult faith formation, or another form of spiritual ministry. It was founded in 1826 by Saint Therese Couderc and Father Stephen Terme. There are now congregations in 16 countries. There is a branch in the Philippines with convents in Quezon City and Davao. Their Generalate is in Rome and the North American provincialate is in Chicago. The North American novitiate is in Houston, while the pre-novitiate takes place in a local community.

The sixteen countries are: Australia ,Belgium ,Bosnia-Herzegovina, Brazil, Canada, England, France,Ireland, Italy Madagascar, Netherlands, New Zealand, Philippines, Singapore, Togo and the United States.

Most of the nuns in the Philippines I know personally and six of them were my former colleagues at the University of the Philippines, Diliman, Q.C in the mid 1950's. I hope you support the congregation mission and its ministry.

What Do You Know about Parkinson Disease?

Michael Fox and Mohamed Ali

Six months ago, my beloved wife of 56 years( Macrine) was diagnosed to have first stage Parkinson disease, commonly called PD. She has been experiencing typical symptoms of the malady with involuntary hand tremors, slow body movement ( walking), unbalanced gait, softer voice, difficulty swallowing and had a couple of falls during the previous year. We have to purchase a cane, to prevent another fall. Our doctor prescribed her Sinemet ( 25/100 carbidopa/levodopa) to be taken twice a day. Her first two weeks after taking the drug, she suffered nausea, vomiting, hallucinations and disturbed sleep, but her hand tremors stopped. As of today she is taking the drug twice a day and the nausea had stopped and the hand tremors controlled. She still walks very slow and her voice is very low and have a hard time swallowing. She needs my assistance in changing clothes, bathing and slicing her food into small pieces. She easily gets tired and from what I read in the Internet, there will be a time when the drug will no longer be effective. In the future as the disease progressed she will need palliative care and home nursing assistance. My wife's PD has a genetic component. Her father had PD and one of her aunts on her maternal side had also PD during their senior years.

Today, I called my Federal Insurance provider Blue Cross-Blue Shield-Anthem of California. The benefits coordinator informed me that home care visits are limited to only 2 hours per day and 25 visits for the calendar year. It has to be authorized by a licensed physician. I have a deductible of $350 per year with the insurance paying only 65% of the cost.

Currently, I am reading two books on PD which I found useful as follows:1). I have Parkinson: What Should I do? By Ann Andrews, Basic Health Publishing, 2011 and 2). Ask the Doctor about Parkinson Disease by Michael S. Okun and Hubert H Fernandez, Demos Health, 2010.

The following information from the National Parkinson's Foundation, I found very informative .

In the United States, 50,000-60,000 new cases of PD are diagnosed each year, adding to the one million people who currently have PD. The Center for Disease control rated complications from Parkinson’s disease as the 14th leading cause of death in the United States. Worldwide, it is estimated that four to six million people suffer from the condition. There is hope, however, as scientists work towards a cure and make progress in identifying the best treatment options for patients.

Parkinson’s disease (PD) is a neurodegenerative brain disorder that progresses slowly in most people. What this means is that individuals with PD will be living with PD for twenty years or more from the time of diagnosis. Parkinson’s disease itself is not fatal, but complications could occur and can cause death. There is currently no cure for Parkinson’s; however, investigations on animal models, gene therapy and stem cells research are undergoing so those with PD can have a good quality of life.

Treatment approaches include medication and surgical therapy. Other treatment approaches include general lifestyle modifications (rest and exercise), physical therapy, support groups, occupational therapy and speech therapy. Recent studies have indicated that a treatment is better than no treatment. In other words, medications and therapies may modify the progression of Parkinson’s disease. Michael Fox and Muhamed Ali are the two world famous personalities known to be suffering with PD.

Do you have a relative with PD? Were you the primary caregiver? Could you share your experiences as a caregiver?
Reference: www.parkinson.org ( National Parkinson Foundation)

Snowbirding in the Philippines, 2013

We just arrived in Northern California, yesterday after a 3 months hiatus and winter vacation in my tropical paradise in the island of Marinduque, Philippines. The 3 months passed by very fast. The first three weeks of January was a very hectic, hosting Macrine's relatives from the Washington, DC, Hawaii and Manila. It was however so much fun showing them Marinduque's tourist attractions and introducing them to relatives they have not meet before. They stayed only for four days, but I felt they had a grand time enjoying the amenities of the the beach resort and meeting relatives.
The Nievas and Ettingers
The last two weeks of January, we hosted a couple from US and their 23 year old daughter for 13 days. The couple resides in State of Washington. The wife was originally from Marinduque and her husband a white Anglo Saxon had been planning this trip for the last two years. Their goal was to visit his wife's family as well as enjoy the sites and tourist attractions of the island. Their daughter was delighted to meet her grandmother for the first time. I am sure they had a fantastic time and memorable reunion with relatives. It was fun hosting them, but had been an exhausting experience preparing their breakfast for 13 days.

I was delighted that my taxes for this year has now been earned with the January income of the beach resort. I am still in need for a couple more clients so I can pay for the annual maintenance of the resort. So if you have plans on vacationing to Marinduque this year, please consider staying at Chateau Du Mer. For details visit my site at http://chateaudumer.blogspot.com

The whole month of February was quite. But during the first week of March( 3rd) we had a Garden Wedding and Reception in the resort. This was the fourth garden wedding ceremony we have hosted since the opening of the reception hall in 2005. The ceremony started with fireworks which scared my dog Miko making him hide inside our bedroom. The next day, Macrine and I attended my sister-in-law golden jubilee as a nun for the Order of the Cenacle. That momentous event was similar to our 50th Golden wedding Anniversary(2007) which included a renewal of vows, a mass and a reception for more than 500 guests. The ceremony was held at the Cenacle Convent, Loyola Heights, Quezon City. The next day Macrine made an appointment for a healing service performed by the local priest of Loyola Heights. The wait took more than three hours, we had to abandon the process and just opted for a long distance healing prayers.


During last week of March (Holy Week), we had guests from Ireland, UK and South Korea. We hosted two young couples who are now touring Palawan and other parts of the Philippines. I was sure they enjoyed Marinduque very much. They not only had visited Gaspar Island, and the hot spring in Buenavista, but also had meet a couple of natives who shared drinks and food with them. They enjoyed sun bathing and swimming in the front yard of the Chateau Du Mer beach house. They also enjoyed Filipino food in the restaurants in downtown Boac and Gasan and the Moriones Festival activities.

The week before we flew back to Northern California, the summer heat of the Philippines had started. Daily temperatures of 34.0 to 36.6 degrees centigrade with humidity of over 55% forced us to stay indoors in air conditioned rooms. You are almost a prisoner either in your hotel room or house, because the heat and humidity were really very uncomfortable and also unhealthy specially from 1 to 4PM. But our experience with the January and February weather was very pleasant in Marinduque.

The last two days of March was the start of electioneering for local politicians. Marinduque local politics is one that I can not be proud of. I am almost embarrassed to say, that the Philippines at this week was just like HELL, not only because of the HEAT but also the political practices of Filipino politicians who are willing the sell their souls so they can get rich from “pork barrel” if elected. Marinduque political shenanigans included a disqualification ( one candidate was a US citizen, also lied about her age and marital status), physical threats to opponents and their supporters , vote buying , and using goons and guns toward opponents and of course the standard political dynasties practices so they can be elected and become rich.

I am indeed glad to be out of the Philippines before the election next month. Let me say however, that I know of a couple of politicians who are honest and not corrupt, but these honest politicians are a rare breed in the Philippines.

Again, this year, I took a few pictures during the Moriones Festival, and the gardens of Chateau Du Mer. ( see photos above and below). Visit also my FaceBook page for the rest of my photographs.

Another Case of a Battered Husband in the Philippines

In my last posting about battered husbands, I cited two cases that had come to my attention last year. One case was here in the US( a coworker) and the other case was in the Philippines(a relative) The article dated 11/12/12 can be found at www.squidoo.com/abused-against-men-the-battered-husband.htm

This week I learned of another battered husband case in the Philippines. The battered husband is a close kin of my wife. For the purpose of this article, let me call the husband Benjamin and his wife Lola. Relatives and friends of Benjamin oftentimes just call him Benjie while Lola has another name Bu-angit( crazy in Ilonggo).

Benjie's family are rich landowners in Mindoro. When Benjie's parents died, the property were divided into the 7 siblings. But Bu-angit was later able to claim and usurp portions of land supposed to be inherited by one of the sisters of Benjie. The story of Benjie and Lola is a classic tale of greed, indifference, envy and marital discord of a well to do Filipino family.

I have met Benjie and Lola and have interactions with them several times during their married life. Lola has a temper, so I was sure that Benjamin was a victim of verbal abuses. Lola several years ago came to visit relatives here in US. On her way home to the Philippines, she had a temper tantrum in the airport. It took a while for her to calm down.

Today, I was surprised to learn that Benjamin was also a victim of physical abuse. Benjamin and Lola have four adults children and several young grandchildren. Both hailed from Mindoro(neighboring island of Marinduque), but decided to reside in Quezon City after their college graduations. Benjamin was an engineer and a business executive before his retirement. Lola was a full time housekeeper and occasionally teaches piano. We know of several friends of the couple and heard of incidents of Lola's temper tantrums. Lola is also known for her erratic behavior during full moon. We did not however have much contact with Benjamin and Lola for the last 5 years, not until last week when Benjamin died of heart attack at the age of 71. We were also informed that a week before Benjie died he was scheduled for heart by-pass surgery. For unknown reasons, the surgery was cancelled. It is rumored that Lola convinced Benjie not to have surgery, because of the costs of the surgery. I feel this is not really the reason, since the couple are very wealthy. They owned lands and two houses in Mindoro as well as beach houses in Batangas and Marinduque and has a good business in Quezon City.

Benjamin had several relatives residing in the US. Last week, a relative( Gilda) flew to the Philippines just to attend for his funeral and cremation services. It was at this time that she learned of Benjie's suffering as a victim of Lola's verbal and physical abuse. The story was relayed to Gilda by the personal caretaker of Benjamin.

The story of Benjie's abuse was relayed by Gilda to my wife and I am writing this story. This is a true story. But to protect the family and privacy of both the late Benjamin and Lola, the names and places in this article are fictitious but the story of Benjamin as a battered husband is true and not a product of my wild and vivid imagination.

Again, as I wrote in my first article on this subject, battered husband cases are not as common as the battered wife cases. But this story confirms that there are battered husbands all around the world, but are too ashamed to seek help when they are still alive. In the case of Benjamin, his case was only known after his death last week. May Benjamin's soul rest in Peace, Amen.